Tuesday, April 5, 2011, 11:48 PM
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Mid-term break is wrapping up in four days and it felt like a total blur. People always complained about how they would go crazy in solitary confinement but I think that would suit me well. Not for entire duration of my life, of course, but in acceptable one-month-at-a-time doses. It would be perfect to just lay back, stare at the ceiling while my mind began churning ideas and imagination with no restrictions or if I feel like it, pick up a book or two, finish it then think about how amazing/horrible the writing, the characterization or plotting is, and read it again to see if it really is as amazing/horrible as when I first read it. From that, I would grab a piece of paper and start revising whatever plot for whatever story I was working on and make sure I don't make the same mistake and make notes of the ones that work.
Yesh, boring but I can't help but enjoy it all.
Though I am not saying that writing comes easy to me. I think I have some morbid fear restraining me from writing as I see fit. Many times, especially when it comes down to writing for this blog of mine, I've written a handful of posts at a time (on a good day, 5 to 7 separate posts while I would pre-published it by resetting the date and time so most of my posts are actually collectively posted at once) and would think of publishing it but in the end, all those posts ended up to the land of no return aka delete.
A good three quarters of those that miraculously survived that savage land will probably linger about, unpublished in my long list of blog posts, waiting for the day where they could finally see the light. Same thing goes with my fanfiction. I am so amazed by the fact that some people like my dictator of a sister or course mate Sophia who could write an average of 1000 words single spaced worth of essay for their assignments or blog post in a mere hour or two that it frightens me.
How the hell did they do that?
While me, who proclaims that I enjoy writing so much can barely muster a post which optimistically at most, numbered around 500 words per post and the fact that one paragraph takes me a whole freaking day when I am not half-assing it so imagine one whole chapter. The competition of who writes the longest chapter in fanfiction.net is unbelievable. I was always getting PM about mine being too short.
Plainly, I worry too much.
Let me be clear; this is not a complain post. Merely, this is me writing about my astonishment for such amazing writing feats. Really. And I know that it's up to you how you want your blog to be like: if pictures speak a thousand words, so be it. For the life of me, I can't seem to accept it.
Especially since I've always fancied myself a writer and in my wildest dreams, an author with several New York Times bestsellers under her belt. The other alternative to my dream profession would be a rock star but seeing how I have neither the voice nor ability of playing a musical instrument (my piano playing days are distant memories and guitar, well, I'm working on it), as well as my immense fear of public speaking, a big fat NAH.
So what did I ended up with? Neurotic perfectionist tendencies with plenty of ideas to write but pure, raw insecurity and the occasional bouts of laziness stopping me. The irony.
The best part of the holidays: Enough spare time to read two books from beginning to end! First book is the excellent Brida by acclaimed author Paulo Coelho and the heartwarmingly adorable Marley and me by John Grogan.
The bad: uncompleted assignments. Still in the holiday mood.
Ahh… don't you just love the life of a college student? Here we go again XD
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Labels: Random Babbles, reads, Slice of life